Life of Wry

I dunno.. this funny spoke to me today.

I’m not that guy, don’t expect to be that guy for quite a while, but I’m definitely noticing the effects of aging. And I admit to wondering if I’ll ever return to that time when I completely and totally took my health and mobility for granted.

Honest to god, as I sit here, I can identify three significant areas on my person that are seriously fubar:  1) right hip’s been messed up for well over a year now and we are most certainly heading toward a hip replacement fit for a card-carrying AARP senior citizen; 2) left thumb sure doesn’t seem to be coming back.. no idea what to do about that.. probably chop it off (more likely surgery) but damn it’s tender and, sadly, remains out of commission; and 3) right shoulder’s ridiculously sore.. thought I’d tweaked it lifting my bike onto the bike rack on the back of my car, but it’s been about three weeks and there’s been no improvement.. not sure what to make of this, but I swear, if it’s another manifestation of arthritis, like the hip and thumb, I’m going to have to rethink this whole damn thing. Not sure what that means–to rethink this whole thing–but this is a trend I was not prepared for. Not now. Not yet.

For now, I’m going with the coincidence theory.. that none of this has anything to do with aging, arthritis, turning 60, being out of hormones… whatever… it’s just an unusual blip on the chart, some kind of strange coincidence, and we’ll return to our regular programming soon. I mean, I understand bodies wear out, but not for PE majors, not at 60.

To me, that’s the irony. I work hard at this health and fitness stuff, but I also expected to be able to have my cake and eat it too. I have earned all the guilty pleasures precisely because I work hard to stay healthy. I’m not that guy on the table, I’m not.  But yet…hip, thumb, rotator cuff.

Sweet universe, I’m only 60.

Which brings me to another thought…

I understand there are things in life best avoided if one wants to maximize one’s chances for a long and healthy life. We can agree that cigarette smoking is one of those things. But life’s too short to deny the pleasures of, let’s say, a late evening splurge on dark chocolate and port just because those things did not make it onto the FDA’s food pyramid. We can be sensible people. We must enjoy.

Eat what you love. Eat it in moderation.

Or, doesn’t it make sense to travel in your sixties–even if looming college expenses make it financially precarious–because deferring travel until your seventies, when you are far more financially hearty, but far less mobile, will be a lot less fun. Doesn’t it make sense to loosen those straps just a little now … because–and this brings us back to that other thing–arthritis?

So, that’s what I think. Do what you love. This is life we’re talking about.