Life of Wry

I got nuthin. Which means I get to reach back into the archives for a random photo…. and…. I choose…. this!

This is so out of character for Jim, I question that it’s even him (it is). You can tell it’s a really long time ago because mom’s still got her signature brown cig in hand. Not to mention Jim’s hair is a deep, dark, rich brown. How ’bout that pose!

For some reason, I think this might have been the picnic before (or after) we scattered dad’s ashes in Carmel (Pt. Lobos), which would put this somewhere around the year 2000. Jim (about 47) and I are four years into our marriage, Peter’s two years old, mom’s about seven years from quitting smoking (and is 71).

I know it was a somber occasion, but apparently also had its lighter moments!

Wow wow wow.

Sally drove down from Railroad Flat to spend a few days with us in Davis. We saw Adam Schiff, had a nice Valentine’s dinner, took many walks, spent cafe time at Cloud Forest, had a couple of dinners out (Greek, Burmese), visited a few galleries, test drove a RAV4 (yup), even did some local politicking. Most of all talked a bunch and caught up on each others’ lives. All in all, a good friend visit!

So… let’s see… we’ve been friends for… 60 years. Met in second grade when she moved to Palos Verdes from Seattle. How ’bout that!

She took off this afternoon.

’til next time!

Jim and I hosted a candidate meet and greet for Donna Neville who’s running to fill the vacancy on the City Council left by Lucas Frerich’s ascension to the county board of supervisors in the November election. We’ve not done this before, but it was pretty fun, I must say: good turnout (somewhere between 32 and 35 folks), lots of neighbors (I’ll never remember everyone’s names), a great presentation by Donna, and a fairly lively Q&A. Satisfying all around.

Couldn’t resist this guy. I guess I decided that if I walk past something in a store and it makes me laugh out loud, and if looking at it sitting in some small corner of my house will bring a smile to my face, then… what the heck… buy it and put it in that small corner.

My mom was all about inanimate objects with personality. She had some truly goofy things in more than a few small corners of her house. They made her laugh, they brought her joy. So.. part of me was channeling her as I thought about and then bought this.

I believe it’s a bird. A fuzzy headed bird with bird legs. I love him.

And here he is tucked into a small corner of our house.

Look who I got to spend some time with tonight!

The UC Davis College Dems somehow managed to bring Adam Schiff to Davis tonight and we got to walk on down to the I-House where a standing room only crowd got up close to a real hero in the democratic party. This was pretty thrilling. Adam Schiff is a powerhouse intellect, a constitutional expert, a democracy warrior and just nails it every single time he comments on what’s going on in Washington. He is incredibly articulate. He spoke eloquently and knowledgeably about issues I care about.. so you know, I was a happy camper. I could have listened to him for hours. Bummed they cut the Q&A short in favor of doing photos. I’d have been delighted to stay and watch, and even shake his hand or pose for a pic (!) but we had a Valentines Dinner to prepare and consume. So took off as the picture taking was commencing.

Back to his comments: He was far more optimistic about the state of our government than I usually feel. He says, “this too shall pass,” and we will get to the other side of the many crises we are in. (Reeeeally?!) He talked about how he worked well with Nunes on the Intelligence Committee (a committee he’s now been removed from, thanks to petty Kevin McCarthy who’s now beholden to the nutcase wing of his party and has to do truly stupid things to appease them). They agree on little, but could work effectively together to get the work of the committee done. That was interesting to me. I’d have loved to hear more about the inner workings of congress, as we don’t see that side the story. And I’d have loved to hear more about where his optimism comes from. I would welcome optimism over the despair I usually feel.

Schiff said one the most insidious things trump did was to put all of his energy into dividing the country. This has always been my biggest resentment of the disgraced former so-called president. Schiff said trump woke up every day with new ways to gin up hate toward, and distrust of, the other side. For example he’d tell his followers that we elite dems thought they were stupid. By perpetuating that idea, he could ensure they’d never trust, never listen, never find common ground with us. trump came out of the election with hate in his little icy heart. He was never going to be the president of everyone, he was never going to try serve the whole country, he was never going to unify. His infamous line — he alone could fix it — flew in the face of unity, of the country working together to solve problems. His MO was disunity.

I truly hate him for that, and for what he did to our country. I will never get over it.

So listening to someone like Adam Schiff is like a balm. His calm demeanor, casual intellect, and decency are soothing. I trust his principles for governing. He nailed it on gun violence, he nailed it on the preservation of our planet being at the existential core of absolutely everything. I especially appreciated his comments about how to bridge the divides (listen and respect those on the other side). I also loved when he talked of an enduring democratic party that would serve and lift all corners of the country with justice, kindness and respect.

Now that’s a vision. No wonder trump and his ilk are afraid of Adam Schiff.

And with Dianne Feinstein announcing today that she will not seek reelection, his campaign to replace her in the Senate began, officially, tonight!

I’m in.

Triumph #1: a cauliflower casserole with a parmesan-“everything bagel” topping. I was at first seriously drawn to this recipe, then growingly dubious it would turn out, then pleasantly surprised and quite certain I’ll make it again.

The short of it: you make a roux with butter and flour, which always gives me anxiety. Garlic gets added just before the flour part, which I burned b/c the butter was too hot, but soldiered on anyway, which turned out fine. You add milk until you have this very thick base, into which you add the florets of cauliflower (and some chives and cayenne, s&p). It’s goopy. But after 20 minutes of baking, it browns up and looked pretty good.

Then you sprinkle a mix of grated parmesan, sesame seeds, poppy seeds and caraway seeds (I substituted flax b/c I dislike caraway) and put it back under the broiler for a couple minutes. It crisps up beautifully and the texture is fantastic. It was absolutely delicious!

It’s the center dish, accompanying an Ina Garten baked chicken and a beet, arugula, goat cheese salad. (It was Dining Divas night!).

Triumph #2: Martha Stewart’s heart-shaped brownies (for Valentines Day tomorrow, obvs!)

I made these last year, as well. May become an annual tradition, except that we’re not supposed to eat dark chocolate anymore, so says the heavy metal police. Not sure what to do about this latest health warning.. but maybe one little brownie heart won’t kill us? Let’s hope.

This is the block of brownie right out of the oven…

Then you do this….

Then you do this….

They’ll be served tomorrow with chocolate mint ice cream (mostly because I couldn’t find peppermint candy ice cream… hmm).

I think an incidence of riotous, flowering quince is a quincidence… don’t you?

I’m in love with this red madness.

I’m telling you.. our friend Phil just gets better and better. Jim and I can honestly say we knew him when. When being before he started painting. I can’t pinpoint that year, but I can say that he took up painting sometime in the last twenty years, but not a moment before. He’s been a lifelong artist, but in other media — ceramic, tile, dance, music, video… maybe other things I don’t know about.

We feel fortunate to have a few Phil Grosses around the house… like six of them, most from his very early days. We can’t afford to acquire them now, nor do we have wall space for these large pieces. But I do love his current work So photos of them on my blog will have to be good enough!

He’s having a show at the Artery this month, its opening was last night.

That is a remarkable likeness. (Phil’s the one on the left.)

The show had about 15-20 pieces. I loved most of them, but this was my favorite:

He’s been doing aerial views of our valley for a long time. The clouds are a new addition. Here is a bit of detail:

What the detail tells me is, there is a level of complexity that is way more than meets the eye. I’m fascinated by the detail of artists’ paintings. For example, the splashes of color on Phil’s self-portrait. I can guarantee it’d never occur to me, if I were to paint a self-portrait, to put green or yellow or blue or red lines in those places where he’s done that. If I didn’t zoom way in on that self-portrait, I’m sure I’d never have noticed ANY of those colors … I’d have only seen his likeness, his gross (as it were) features. Like Wayne Thiebaud (a mentor and inspiration to Phil), the color is what makes the paintings pop, but you kind of have to look to find it.

I was touched by a story yesterday.

A couple of police officers in Macomb County, MI are patrolling around and come upon a car that has pulled over on the side of a desolate, snowy road in the part of Michigan north of Detroit. They encounter a man who is crying and seemingly overcome emotionally. They ask if there is anything he needs, if they can help. He says he needs a hug. The distraught man climbs out of his car. A big burly officer gets out of the police car. The officer puts his hand on the guy’s shoulders and says something like he knows grief and they can get him some help if he needs it. The officer has a heavy midwestern accent. The distraught guy leans in and they hug. This is all caught on the other officer’s body worn camera.

I’m crying as I watch this.

They talk for 45 minutes (I think) and eventually offer a couple of numbers for the guy to call. As the story was reported, it sounds like the man was going through something bad… and was set on a better path by the organization he called. He might still be receiving some mental health services.

A good outcome.

I will just choose to hang on to the image of this.. the kindness; the lonely, sobbing guy on a remote wintry road; the large, burly, midwestern-accented officer who offered profound human connection.

This is the beautiful side of life and there is more of it than the other.

~~

Not unrelated… the footage and the stories coming out of Turkey and Syria after the earthquake a few days ago… there is just no way to wrap my head around the size of that disaster and the immense loss and suffering. I’ve been watching that coverage and am overwhelmed by the horror in every corner of the story. Between yesterday and today, I’ve seen some rescues that are simply miraculous. Small children being pulled out from under mountains of concrete, somehow still alive, even through the freezing temps, and absence of food and water. It’s beyond comprehension. I am in awe of the rescue effort. Deeply grieving for the lives lost.

If you’re reading this (in real time), and can, send money.

** One of my favorite songs of all time. Totally mushy. It’s really more about the era, the sound.. and a smidge about the romance of it. Youtube it… it’s really something.

The song was written by Burt Bacharach (music) and Hal David (lyrics) and made famous by Herb Alpert. I’ve been known to play it on repeat while on a long drive (by myself, of course), singing for all I’m worth, crescendoing right along with the band, to the amusement, prolly, of people in passing cars.

Like I said: the era. Going down Burt Bacharach Youtube rabbit holes sent me to deep, nostalgic places. Nostalgia can be fun.. it’s sweet to hear Dusty Springfield, Dionne Warwick, Aretha.. Herb.. singing all those poppy 70s songs (Do You Know the Way to San Jose, Alfie, Walk on By, Say a Little Prayer for Me, I’ll Never Fall in Love Again, Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head… This Guy’s in Love with You.. for a few) some kinda goofy, most so perky, and all Oh. So. Singable.

Nostalgia can also be heart wrenching. Mostly in a good way, I suppose. But I also get overcome with sadness for what seemed a simpler time (right, aren’t they always simpler times?), not as cynical, full of passion.

I think of the records lined up in the wire rack beneath our Hi Fi Stereo, with the drop down thing and the swinging needle on the arm. All my parents records: Barbra Streisand, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Herb Alpert, Edie Gorme, Steve Laurence, Andy Williams, Sami Davis, Jr., The New Christie Minstrels, Burl Ives. I loved all of those. And then Jay’s and mine… all the 60s rock and roll stuff.. that is too long a list. And the sound track from Sound of Music. Thinking about all that.. music really did bounce off the walls all the time. My parents loved music, especially my dad. Jay loved music. I was a huge beneficiary of their choices (and had a bunch of my own favorites, too).

Listening to some of Bacharach’s music, which I haven’t heard for a while — not like 60s rock and roll which seems to be everywhere, all the time — zinged me back. Smiled a lot.. but also felt curling up and crying. What’s that?

Bacharach’s passing, at 94, made me wish I could call mom and dad. I felt like I wanted to reach back there, be back there…in those times. See my dad, see my mom.. put a record on and dance around the house. Have some toast, or eat a bowl of cereal.

Man.. did I just turn 67? How hilarious that doesn’t sound *that old.* And yet…. my old parents during all those music years were .. like… barely 40. Those youngsters, with a house full of kids..

Anyway.

[Deep breath.]

Thinking about an appropriate picture for this post…. going back to some old ones I might have of my mom and dad… hang on…

Well, okay.. I came up with a few, how about these to put us in the era… these are all probably 60s shots from one event or another:

And yeah… hand me a cigarette and a cocktail to go with that music….