September 20, 2016


On this, the day before our 20th anniversary, I was thinking about what makes a good marriage, what makes our marriage work.

Jim and I are very companionable. We work and play and manage our life well together. We enjoy hanging out together and we also give each other room to be in our own spaces. We agree on most of life’s big ticket items (like, politics–we both agree Trump’s a sorry doofus). There is mutual respect. There is admiration. There is humor. Raising Peter has brought us unfathomable joy.

There have been periods of serious stress, one in particular, and we’ve gotten to the other side. ┬áThe one led to counseling which, after ten years, continues to be a pretty fascinating process, without a doubt deepening our communication and understanding of each other.

I am confidently, happily looking forward to the next marital era, the one beyond child rearing. Such a nice feeling to have.

I came across this and thought it added wonderfully to the list of marriage must haves: