Well… Heck

September 17, 2016

This is leave day. Not sure what to expect, mood-wise. The reality of Peter’s separation has gently become comfortable and normal, having spent four days already in transition mode.  (Well, not to mention eighteen years.)

We were really pleased he wanted to join us for breakfast on this last day, though he was clear it had to be quick one.

I found a place called Richard Walker’s Pancake House on Prospect in the heart of La Jolla Village. By the time we got there the line outside was long and parking completely jammed. Still… we prevailed.

It was worth it for two reasons. One, the menu was impressive and our choices were great. Peter’s eating blueberry pancakes in background, I got a sampler with 1) bacon-embedded, 2) pecan, and 3) banana pancakes. Plus the best corn beef hash I’ve ever eaten (secret for this one is texture).


Jim had this:


Thar’s french toast in them thar fruit. Good enough!

But even better was running into some folks from Davis. I didn’t know Julie (the mom) personally, but recognized her from around town. She was with her daughter Sierra and a friend who was wearing a Davis crew tee-shirt, which tipped me off. Sierra will be at Eleanor Roosevelt College. Hers and Peter’s paths will surely cross from time to time.


We headed way (way) back to where Jim had finally found a parking spot… up in the neighborhoods.

Just my guys….


And took Peter back to campus. Today was official move in day for all UCSD on-campus residents. After a few days of just a handful of Revelle orientation move-ins, it was fun to see the entirety of the operation in full force. Kids, carts, parents in tow… it was quite a scene. It was easy to find someone to take our goodbye shot:


And then off we drove. Just like that. It felt a little numb, a little surreal, mostly because of the build up over the entire last year, and particularly the hyper-awareness of the transition over the past few days.  I suspect the real impact is something that will be felt over time, as time spent in our quiet house becomes the new normal. For now, my overwhelming feeling is sheer excitement for Peter, for his new life, his new home, his new friends and all the experiences soon to fully envelop him.

My heart is full. Yet I know I’m leaving a piece of it behind.


For now.. we just drove away. We started initially on the coastal route so Jim could see the north side of campus, Torrey Pines Golf Course, the Torrey Pines State Park (one of these days we will hike there…), Del Mar…


But we had a long drive, including a plan to stop in and see mom, so we re-joined I-5 and headed north.

Tons of traffic, even on a Saturday. We sat a lot. We did visit mom, though, which was nice. We got to Harris Ranch about 9pm…


And it was about here that some of that protective numbness wore off and the tears came. It’s a little bit shocking, I must say, to be honest-to-goodness separated from our guy. The real story of raising Peter and sending him off to live independently will be a long and full love story. Not summarized or experienced in a car ride.

But I did have tears.