Life of Wry

There were a number of years when my nickname for mom was Marm. She loved it and signed her name on cards and notes to me as Marm. So it stuck.

Today’s her birthday; she’d have been 92. And I wish she were here as a more vibrant version of herself (the last couple of years were not so easy for her, physically). Though I’d take the 92-year-old version, especiallly if her mind and humor were as they were at near-88, when she died.

Here are a few slices-of-life of mom and me. Smiling with you, Marm. Miss you madly.

In a fancy stroller, on the boardwalk in Manhattan Beach, with bunny. Why didn’t I get her smile?

I like this one, even though you can’t see much of her (in red dress). She outfitted me, so this is a dress she’d have picked out for a Family Open House event at TRW. I’m probably in junior high, judging by the hair and I’m quite sure I’m messing around with the fixtures on my garter belt. Yes, indeedy. I’m probably wearing white fishnets or maybe nude stockings, but this was a pre-pantyhose era. Can you imagine? Takes some concentration, apparently, to keep those stockings firmly grasped (the horrors if they dropped!).

Always a hoot getting her to smile into a phone for a selfie (getting her to relax into a natural smile for a photo at any time! Which was always hysterical.) This was on the Esplanade, of course.

Got some serious patterns going on here. This was actually a Mother’s Day party at Eric’s and Staci’s. This was right before the moms-swing-at-a-pinata thing. Which was hilarious (and scary to see mom, blindfolded, swinging a bat at a moving target, when she shoulda used a walker to even get around, but wouldn’t).

This photo is everything to me. It’s her dad, whom she adored, who died young (49), in time to meet me, barely. He called her chicky-baby.

A cute one at our house in PV. Peter’s probably about two.

Well, we are all gathering for a group shot: Grandma and Grandpa with their 5 (at the time) grandchildren. Mom’s fixing some problem.. and everyone’s watching, maybe searching for something? Chris is checking his pocket? Jay’s looking at his feet? Matt, in the red Keds, is getting a diaper check? I remember her sandals. I believe Grandma and Grandpa had just returned from Hawaii!

Graduating from UC Davis in 1979. I wish I remembered more about that day, but so glad Grandma was there. Dad and Grandpa must be somewhere. I have no idea who took this picture or what else happened that day, but mom looks fabulous.

And finally (this time around), this photo that I just posted to Facebook, as well. It caught my eye today because, by my calculation, she is as old in it as I am today. This was taken at John’s and my house on Guaymas. A brief window in time, probably not long before we split up. (And now that I do that math again, she’s probably closer to 60-63. When I figured this out earlier today, I was using dad’s date of birth (eye-roll).)

So… yeah, Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day. I love you and think of you all the time. xo

I’m posting a collection of photos I shall call: Peter reads.

Who can see anything but those feet?

And those feet!

Frame boys with their favorite authors and protagonists.

Magic Tree House got him through Rome..

Couldn’t put it down…

Unless it was to read this…

Didn’t always stay awake…

I love this shot…. trying to order at a restaurant in Brazil… looking for the word milk?

Peter and I read together, too.

Sometimes just by himself…

And that concludes this installment of Peter Reads.

Today was a bit bonkers. I’ll reflect on it in a later post, but for now will say: wow.. 65 is not an insignificant milestone.

~~

I took this the other day while sitting on the bench under the window, which I never do. I looked up and thought, huh, I make a good bed. I missed a calling.. as an army sergeant, maybe.

Anyway.. I’ve always had a penchant for order. It provides a nice, reliable, stable container for the occasional/inevitable wildcards of life.

Four fully vaccinated friends from the olden days.

So there!

These were taken outside of a Sac Mexican food restaurant, Mayahuel. Sally came up from Mountain Ranch to join us for lunch; Nancy, Sarah and I spent a couple of hours before lunch checking out murals in midtown, as well as a special mural that Sarah and Gabe painted outside a newly opened preschool out by Howe and Fair Oaks Blvd.

The preschool is called Acorn to Oak. The mural is a giant oak tree that spans the four seasons, with just tons of seasonal details to find and delight in. Perfect for teaching kids about the rhythms of nature and encouraging them to spend time looking for those signs. So so sweet.

I didn’t do a good job of capturing the whole thing — it’s about 20-25 feet long — but here’s a portion of it

And some of the detail:

Those two… I tell ya.

So many questions. I feel in such a weird space tracking politics these days.. ever since that psycho came on the scene. It’s hard to stay sane when you’re left to argue that up is down and down is up and there are no shared facts and their game is about control and money, and they’re willing to do anything to get it and hang onto it, even and especially lying (because facts and the public’s interest are not on their side)… but what do they believe anymore? Well, nothing. They haven’t been about policy for a long time. Seems they are about shutting out voters so they can hang onto or reclaim power, but then what, besides stacking courts so they can prevent abortions and carry more guns? They don’t care about people, families, education, the planet or our global relationships.

They are making a political bet: stay with the psycho and his flock. It’s Gaetz and Greene over Romney and Cheney. The former two raising money like crazy. How is that possible? But it’s the whole thing.. it’s their bet. It’s what the polls tell them will bring victories in 2022 and beyond.

I can’t understand the fealty thing. It nauseates me to my core. How can they ever justify throwing people overboard (Cheney), booing them down at GOP conventions (Romney) for an opinion other than that psycho’s? What is that? He’s trying to cancel the whole GOP, its history, the people in its history, it all has to be about him and they all willing to go along with it. I just don’t understand.

So… dunno. People continuing to vote against their interest, their family’s interest, the planet’s interest, the world’s interest.. and defending the lies about voter fraud and rigged elections… so that… what? Abortion, god, guns? They’ve really lost their way, lost a sense of the big picture.

Up is down.

Nativism, fear of the other. That’s the real heart of it. Other = less than.

He’s ignited it and is running with it and they’re all going with it.

And back to my questions: my biggest one is how do I turn away from that existential threat to democracy, justice and the planet as we know it… AND have a life that is fulfilling and joyful? I want a life that is fulfilling and joyful.. and I feel like we have to stay on top of this and continue to fight for the future for our kids. I’m filled with angst. Why isn’t everyone?

And the vaccination issue. Good lord!! We were told today that we (the US, the world) will not achieve herd immunity because there are too few people willing (yes, willing) to get the vaccine. Instead, transmission will continue, variants will thrive, and we’ll continue to live with this virus for years… which means not a full return to normalcy.. or we’ll return and people will just die that shouldn’t have. We coulda had it, herd immunity. But people weren’t willing to mask up and vaccinate… because.. freedom. Freedom to be stupid and selfish.

Thank a vaccinatee today, because the fact we have less transmission than we might have, and the fact we’re not ALL getting infected, sick or dying is because half the people chose to get vaccinated. For themselves, their families and the greater good.

Well hell.

What do you do with that level of human selfishness? How do you co-exist with these people? Honestly, how do you look them in the eye? Part of me wants to just say, “hey, they believe in crazy shit,” and let it go at that. But it affects us all and that seems so totally unjust.

It all just eats me up. Can’t shut it out and live my life, but don’t want to be consumed by it, either. Trying to find the balance.

~~

Here’s a neat spring thing in Davis: these tower of jewels (they’re called? right?). They are almost creepy big, out of scale big.. but they’re also so cool.

This one’s in Central Park right now.. but they’re all over town. Like those crazy naked ladies that come up seemingly out of nowhere.

That’s about 3 feet of bloom right there..

When I’m 68?

Life gets normaler and normaler: Jim and I drove down to the Bay Area last night to join Monica and Dror in their new Oakland (Rockridge) rented house for day two of Jim’s birthday celebration. Nice to be guests in someone else’s house for dinner. No masks. Hugs all around.

And lap-top birthday cake! A fabulous chocolaty moussey thing that was pretty damn great for a chocolate mousse cake (usually too fluffy and rich for my taste).

For the record, he blew them all out, those giant Hanukkah candles, in one breath.

I had an audience, which was a little disconcerting… was he making a play for the hammock? He sat there for the longest time.