Life of Wry

It was a slow news day around here.  So.. what you get is troll zombie.

Found this grubby little thing lying in the middle of the street one day last week. Looked like he’d suffered extensive vehicular abuse. Not sure why, but once I’d picked him up, didn’t feel like I could just put him right back down again, so stashed him in my phone pouch and forgot all about it.

Rediscovered him last night at our baseball tournament.  I’d bought some M&Ms as nervous candy when Peter was pitching in the final game.  I’d emptied the whole pack into my phone pouch, which seemed like a handy and convenient dispensing vessel.  I was nom-nom-noming away mindlessly–as you do when you’re scorekeeping a game your son is playing in–when I came upon something startlingly out of place among the M&Ms.  It was this grungy thing.  No telling what germs I picked up as my M&Ms co-mingled with Mr. Disgusting at the bottom of the pouch. Ew.

Anyway, I didn’t manage to throw him away last night either, so this morning, I gave him a bath and shampooed his matted blue hair (with Jim’s Prell, of course). Think I have too much time on my hands? Yeah, well..   You can’t imagine the dirt that ran off this guy and the crud that was caked in his micro dreadlocks.  The sink water turned the color of filth, disease and abandonment.

For now, that’s the end of the story.  Somebody last night suggested perhaps my creepy little blue-haired troll had brought the Crush a bit of luck (they did win the championship) and that I ought to bring him to future tournaments to keep our streak alive. Hmm.. I’m not so sure about that.

But it couldn’t hurt.