Life of Wry

It’s been a full week — birthdays, political action (the usual), visiting friends (Carol, Bill, Tony, Jack), a nice hike, a horrible debate, nonstop political fretting….

With all that going on, I have yet to write about our two Mandela Fellows and the dinner we enjoyed with them about 5 days ago (I’m writing this on Sunday — while swinging in the hammock, listening to Bruce Springsteen, in a 98-degree light breeze — filling in a few missed posts).

So, Tuesday. We had our two fellows over for dinner. We learned about life in Zambia and Namibia, we learned about their jobs, we learned about the projects they are initiating as part of this fellowship. All impressive. I’m including photos from the evening, as well as a pair of biographical cards posted on a giant map of Africa — part of a display at Friday night’s Mandela Washington Fellowship reception — that provide a nice overview of Nalumino and Beauty.

The Friday reception was a very interesting, worthwhile two hours where we ate some typical African fare (rice, potatoes, cabbage, a chicken dish and spongy Ethiopian bread — interesting, all yellow); heard from officials, planners, sponsors and the fellows themselves. There was drumming, dancing and a lot of presentations. Pleased to hear Jim later say he really enjoyed it all and was up for hosting again next year. I’ll include some of those pics, as well.

Among other things going on this week, there were visitors!

Carol and Bill came through town on Tuesday. Jim and I had a lovely couple of hours with them, including a walk downtown for lunch at Cloud Forest.

By way of introduction: Carol was the “best person” in our backyard wedding nearly 28 years ago (an event and anniversary I misrepresented as having occurred 18 years ago..math that just does not add up! Ooops!!) Bill and Carol were actually celebrating their 41st anniversary on that day. Carol’s a retired planner for the City of Albuquerque and Bill’s professor emeritus in linguistics at U of New Mexico. They were in California for the quarterly follow up to Carol’s cancer diagnosis last year (she’s doing fantastically; in the all-clear zone!). Extra fun for them to wander around Davis as Carol attended school here (my roommate, in fact) and Bill visited a lot (and.. hm.. might also have taken some classes here … there’s that memory hole again).

On Friday, I got to spend some time with Tony — one of my favorite colleagues from the way back. He was out in California to attend an Alliance for Community Media conference in San Jose, but more interestingly to ride to that conference on a bike from LA. He ended up in Davis because of a couple of other mutual former colleagues… and I was pleased to get him for a couple hours. We met at Cloud Forest (I’m giving TH a lot of extra business this week!). Tony lives in NYC and is a bike riding fool!

So… speaking of biking fools….

Sally’s son Jack came to town yesterday (Saturday) because he just got accepted at UC Davis (!) and will start in the fall in the Theater Arts program. He’s here to see Davis for the first time and hopes to go back up to the foothills having secured a place to live and a job. Having spent most of the day with this impressive young man, I think he might accomplish both. (Until then, he’s hanging out with Mrs. Alden.. Sally’s mom, his grandma, in Mountain Ranch.)

So… not having a working bike at the moment (and having failed at finding a bike to borrow), I rented a bike from the Green Bike people over on Olive. Heavy clunker bike, a helmet and a lock: $20 for the day. Such the deal. (Also, super fun!)

We met at 10:45 and headed right out… Coffee at Mishkas, a walking tour around downtown, then biked all over campus and a couple neighborhoods. We also had lunch at Cloud Forest, then he took off (3:00). So much great conversation (politics, AI, psychedelics, theater). As I said, impressive kid.

Here he is in front of Sally’s first house in Davis… over on Miller Drive.

The Thursday presidential “debate” (twice impeached, multiple-indicted, convicted sexual assaulter and convicted felon hoping to win back the presidency in order to avoid jail versus the current prez who’s, frankly, too old to continue in this role) was the most deflating, terrifying thing I’ve witnessed in a long time. So much at stake.

All Joe had to do was present himself as solid and present, and assuage all the fear out there that he’s losing his grip (and there’s plenty of evidence he may be). I don’t know for sure that he IS losing his grip — many close to him say he is not and what do we really know anyway — but I, and the entire world, saw a guy who, as somebody said, looked like he’d just realized he may have left the stove on. Deer in the headlights eyes, at times a vacant stare, plenty of misstatements of facts, too many stumbles to count, a few lost trains of thoughts, and that dang OPEN MOUTH that just hangs there, confirming that he is, in fact, a very old grandpa. It’s OKAY TO BE AN AGING GRANDPA! Joe: just give us the confidence that you are processing information and making sound decisions. We don’t care that you stutter and stumble, we don’t care that you have arthritis and walk [really] funny, just assure us you are in full control of your faculties.

It absolutely did not look like he was.

Dems are breaking into two main camps right now: 1) dance with the guy who brung ya or 2) scramble for a replacement at some kind of chaotic brokered convention. The existential threat and absolute imperative has not changed: the convicted felon must not win. We (the US, the entire planet) are in serious peril otherwise.

I am hoping against hope that the smart people are going to figure this out. I’m a committed, loyal soldier and will fight for whatever may be, but dammit, figure this out stat.

After listening to endless handwringing commentary and a particularly on point analysis today from the Pod Save America boys, I’m in the ditch Joe camp. Harsh, I know. In my heart, I’ve been uneasy for a very long time about his grip and ability to not only do the job, but mobilize/excite/engage huge swaths of dems. Importantly, this world is on a fast track to something unrecognizeable (thanks to climate, geo-political alliances and tensions, and Artifical Intelligence) and we need a person who is f*cking agile and articulate and modern. Joe’s got decades of experience and wisdom that is useful, for sure… but he’s old, old school. Even with the best people around him, his is a wee lost in our rapidly changing world. Me thinks.

Here’re are some of the memy things floating around.. presently, there are two sides in this impending family feud, but only one side’s going public with their memes. Nobody’s memifying the case for switching out Biden. Sharing the stay the course ones anyway… (and they make good points… )

I am too distressed to write about the big presidential debate tonight (though I will post below some opening comments I wrote for Biden yesterday in the shower — where I do my best presidential speech writing — that I wish he’d delivered at the beginning of the debate).

So for today’s blog, I’ll post a couple of shots from today’s [Dolomite training] hike somewhere near Castro Valley. We hiked with Jim’s high school friend Dede and her husband Collin. Dede is a fiend of a hiker — hikes about 4-5 times per week (and not slouchy hikes, either.. serious hikes) in parks all over the bay area. Today’s was in Cull Canyon Regional Recreation Area.

Here are the hike facts:

:: 9.6 miles
:: 1581′ of elevation gain on the way out; 712′ of elevation gain on the way back (2293′ total)
:: 4.5 hours, with about a 30 min break at the turnaround point

Good hike! No blisters, no ticks, hopefully no poison oak, hopefully no lost nails.

Some pics:

One direction.

This was one of two creek crossings. I’d say half the hike was on a narrow trail in a dense forest, and half on a wider road, mostly in the sun (though, actually, a lot of that was shaded, too).

~~

Here’s my undelivered speech for Biden:

Look folks, let me address the elephant in the room. 

First, I have terrible arthritis in my hip. It hurts and makes it hard to walk. I shuffle. It looks weird. This is embarrassing to me and very frustrating as I have prioritized being physically fit and active my whole life. But I try to accept this with grace and part of growing older. 

Second, it’s no secret I have a speech impediment. I have managed it my whole life. Like arthritis, these things also get worse with age. I don’t have time to slow it down; I have a lot to say and things come out slurry. I know the right is having a field day with that. That is their problem. Most of us have the decency to look past such things. 

But folks, let’s be clear. I may look weird when I walk and sound weird when I talk…but, what hasn’t been touched by age is my judgment, experience and understanding of the job. Rest assured, this is the most important job in the world and I am 100% there for you every day with the wisdom and experience that comes with 50 years in government. I will be talking issues and policy in this debate. And I’m looking forward to that. 

I’ve been to jail for realz… but that’s a story for another time. This near-jail experience is the result of trying to include the picture below in a Facebook birthday collage celebrating Peter earlier this week.

This photo was part of a fave photos collage, but shortly after I clicked the publish button, I got a notice back from Facebook saying that my post included a photo that was sexually suggestive and it was removed.

Hrrumph, I said to myself. I’ll do a workaround: I’ll post the photo instead in the comments section and explain how I’d originally posted the photo as part of the above collage, was scolded and disciplined by the Facebook censors, so here is the offending (not!) photo down here in the comments. Ha! Take that, over zealous censors.

But Facebook snagged that one, too, and sent me a message saying I was skating on thin ice. They told me to be careful or there would be consequences. That got my attention. They offered me the option of challenging their ruling, so I did that. In the meantime, as I await their review, I’m needing to be on best behavior… or Facebook jail will be my fate.

I expect my photo will be approved, but it’s a bit too late for the birthday post, so, instead, I’ll post it here.

May I present Peter snorkeling in the bathtub. Not having sex with anybody.

(Not a nick name I say aloud.. no reason why.. but one I say to myself all the time.)

Today was Maya’s birthday, the day after Peter’s. So she gets an entry of her own!

Grateful Peter and Maya found each other (during the pandemic, while sequestered together in their coop, in both of their first days–>weeks–>months in Ann Arbor). Glad they’ve spent the years since becoming such a sweet couple. I’m sure they’ve both learned and grown a lot together.

As a mom, a parent, I can say it’s been one of the most wonderful parts of raising Peter…seeing how he’s become part of a couple… to see what he values in a partner. To see the kind of person who values him.

These are super swell kids!

Some Maya pics (the first three of which pre-date Peter and which I mined from Facebook):

While it’s a bit disruptive to Jim’s sleep, I’m partial to setting an alarm at 2:21am on June 24 each year so that I can be in that moment and remember delivering Peter Keaton Frame into the world. It was a very very key milestone in the lives of (at least) three people! Jim was right there for every grunt in those wee hours (twenty six years ago!), so it doesn’t seem too out of school that he be slightly awakened once a year to honor the moment. Amiright?

Thought so. [smile]

So, like I said, this guy turned 26 today! Twenty six!

I can say it here (you know, because it’s my blog and this is why I have a blog): I am so unbelievably in love with this guy. I’m in awe the man he is becoming. That seems like a trite thing to say.. I hear people say it a lot about their children. But it also says a lot. It says there is growth, and development, and adapting, and lessons learned. It implies curiosity, open heartedness, a thirst for knowledge and understanding. If you possess those things, you are going to grow and become. Peter cares about people, about the world, about knowing things and experiencing things. He is incredibly principled. He’s analytical, thoughtful. He’s got a broad set of interests and a broad set of talents. He’s confident, yet very modest.

And yeah.. he kind of reminds me of my husband. Which I don’t think is a coincidence.

Anyway.. he’s 26. He’s becoming. He’s got all kinds of things to learn yet, all kinds of skills to refine. But, damn, he’s got a solid foundation of smarts, integrity, thoughtfulness and open-mindedness.

I am really, really proud of him.

How ’bout a pic or two?

I can always be assured of something to write about, even when I have nothing to write about… meaning: Our political world is soul-suckingly rich in material and, as I so often say thank goodness for the funny people, who can find the humor in our anything-but-funny world.

Here’s a selection of the latest social commentary.

Super creepy, but says it all.

Juneteenth happened on the 19th, and was the third year of our newest national holiday.

And this one… it’d be easy to laugh if it weren’t so true!

One more.. from a Woman’s March a while back:

I’ve always liked my movies to pack an emotional punch.. tragedy, sadness, betrayal… anything that reaches in, touches the heart, evokes a response. Even if it’s hard to watch, even if I cry through a good part of it, even if I walk out a zombie.

The movie Jim and I saw on Friday was one of those. About a 30-something father who has terminal brain cancer, who is solo-parenting a 4-year old boy. The boy’s mom (maybe the protagonist’s wife at one time) walked out and left her son when he was an infant. The dad is very working class (cleans windows for a living in Ireland) and the movie follows him as he’s looking for a family to adopt his kiddo, the center of his world. It’s all about finding the right family for his sweet boy (whatever that might look like, and the story includes numerous variations on that theme), the immense sadness and loss at not getting to see how his son’s story will unfold, and just the deep and beautiful bond between a patient, loving dad and an innocent, vulnerable (and very cute) kid.

I found it affecting, moving and just so beautiful. Worth seeing. A story about the precious love between kids and their parents and a reminder of what matters most in life. It’s surprisingly direct and understated… a quiet study, not a manipulative move in sight.

Nowhere Special was made in 2020.

(That ice cream’s going to drip all over his dad.)

At the suggestion of our friends Margie and Wes, Jim and I agreed to serve as Mandela Fellowship hosts for the next six weeks (or so).

From its website, “The Mandela Washington Fellowship will bring up to 700 young leaders to the United States in the summer of 2024 for a comprehensive executive-style program that is designed to build skills and empower Fellows to lead in their respective sectors and communities.”

The program started during the Obama administration and this is their 10th anniversary.

Being a host involves, basically, inviting two young African leaders to dinner, which we’ll be doing this coming week. Additionally, there is a reception next week Jim and I will attend, and at the end of the program there is a celebration, which we cannot make. We may try to squeeze in one other social gathering with our fellows before it’s all said and done.

I attended a potluck at the I-House this evening and met a number of the fellows, most of whom had just arrived the day before. There are 24 of them at UC Davis this summer (and, as I understand it, there are 28-ish other sites around the country doing the same). One fellow told me that in Nigeria there were 10,000 applicants for 55 slots. Extremely competitive and a very popular program!

More to come. For now, a not-very-good pic of the potluck, which was hugely attended and quite fun.