Life of Wry

I just learned about the death of Trudy Keel. Miss Keel was one of my PE teachers in high school. I found out sort of unexpectedly. I did a google search last night… while I was standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth, actually. Not sure what in the world prompted it, but some thought crossed my mind and I wondered where/what she was up to. I typed her name into the googles and up popped an entry (from three and a half years ago) on the Palos Verdes High School Memories 60s and 70s Facebook page, a reference to her death. It was a small post, only a handful of people responded to it, but it stopped my heart. I’d felt really close to her in high school and it was a serious blow.

As it was very late, I went to bed, but today I did a deep dive and gleaned a wee bit more info.

Best I can figure, she left Palos Verdes at some point and returned to Arkansas. The obituary says she moved to Heber Springs to buy a marina. Here’s the obit…

While there is no mention of Betsy in the obit, they were a couple. Betsy was also a PE teacher at PVHS. They arrived together and left together everyday. We learned that they shared an apartment in Torrance. In the 70s, not very many people were talking openly about same sex couples. Students, I imagine, suspected (and gossiped) about their relationship, but I can honestly say it didn’t register with me one way or the other.

I think it’s odd Betsy was not mentioned in the obit. I actually did a search, as well, on her and turned up what I believe is strong evidence their relationship continued right up until the end (wonderful). I found her listed as Betsy Keel in some sources, suggesting they may have married once it was legal. I hope that teeny, tiny town in the middle of rural Arkansas welcomed and embraced them.

Back to Miss Keel. I am serious when I say she made a huge impact on me. I can’t say I do anything differently because of her, or learned anything in particular, but I can say she affected me in profound ways, ways I’m sure I did not understand then.

I’m not sure I understand it now, except that the news has hit me surprisingly hard.

She coached our tennis team for all but my freshman year, so that’s probably how I first got to know her. She then asked me to be a PE assistant, and I did that for my junior and senior years. I spent a lot of time in that PE office with all the other PE teachers and coaches. Pretty quickly I became just her assistant. She taught me to swing a golf club (golf was her sport), then sent me out to coach students in the golf class. (Funny.) I can’t remember all the other things I did. But I loved that period.

I remember dreading the end of my time at PVHS because I felt like I’d miss the daily connection with Miss Keel so much. I suppose the end came and I moved on.. went to college and that was that. I must have returned to visit a time or two, but I don’t remember. Quite honestly, I’m not sure how I made the break.

I am not sure what the attachment was for me, but it was strong and it scared me a little. She was 22 years old than me, just four years younger than my mom, so clearly it wasn’t that kind of crush. But it was clearly an infatuation, a near obsession. At 15 (16, 17, 18), it was beyond me. I just liked her and looked forward to my job as PE assistant.

I do know she saw me. She recognized my athleticism and encouraged that part of me. She knew it was defining for me. I’m not sure my mom got that. My parents were generally supportive of all the things I did, but my mom was also sending me plenty of messages about what I should look like, how I should dress, the importance of style. I’m not sure she was really comfortable with my being a jocky jock. A tennis player, sure (they were tennis players), but I’m not sure she got the rest of it. She/they came to some of my track meets, certainly the big ones, but, honestly, I don’t have much of a memory of bleachers full of family. So I guess the attention Miss Keel gave me mattered a lot.

It’s a tender time… high school. If someone pays a lot of attention to you and supports and encourages you, shares your interest, rewards you for the stuff you do well… I imagine that’s big. I imagine it gets a little confusing, as well.

I read the comments on the PVHS FB page from others who also, apparently, liked Miss Keel:

:: I still remember how much I loved her. She was a wonderful person!

:: She mentored me as well. She helped me feel normal in an unreal world.

:: I had her for PE in the early 70’s at PVHS. She very gently told me I wasn’t cut out for the track team. 

:: Coach Keel was my PVHS swim team coach ‘72-‘76. She was a disciplined and dedicated person. Made me work harder and swim faster to CIF Finals.

I loved reading these… corroborated my version of her.

I found these in my yearbooks from junior and senior years.

This is a pic from my senior year:

I know this: learning of her death really stopped me in my tracks. I felt sorry we’d lost touch (well… nearly fifty years has passed!). I looked up the town she moved to, google street-viewed around to see what the town was like, read the obit a number of times. A lot of feelings came up, whatever they are. I hope she had a happy life.

I planted a tree tonight in her honor.