Life of Wry

I won’t forget this week… for its sadness, for its courtroom lessons, for its bonding with Maria around a profound tragedy (tragedy…. a word that comes to mind often).

Around the intensity and the surrealness (another word I can’t seem to shake), there was levity. “This is not a whodunnit,” said Sam the judge. “Never the two shall twain,” uttered nonsensically by Rosemary the nurse. And, oddly, some laugh-out-loud moments (which I can’t quite remember, but welcomed).

There were stories and backstories. History and context. Revelations.

I was moved by the many 20-somethings who were friends of the defendant — roommates, co-workers, a girlfriend — who were just 20-somethings, who seemed not to know what to do about the red flags, but who cared and tried to support. Who were just going about their lives as students and found themselves in the midst of a nightmare. All I could think of was that could be Peter, or any of his friends. They were smart young people, polite, earnest, nervous as they answered questions on the witness stand… completely over their heads with the horrors that unfolded. I couldn’t help but think that we as a culture need to do more to create awareness for mental illness. We need to provide education and a common language for people to be able to talk about it, and more importantly recognize it and appropriately respond to it. Lives depend on our compassion and action.

I was fascinated by court process. Fascinated by the strategies of the lawyers. Truly… so eye opening. I could easily spend days just wandering from courtroom to courtroom, observing the proceedings. One could if one were so inclined.

The trial now takes a week-long break and resumes on Aug 7, likely concluding that week with a decision about the defendant’s competency to stand trial in criminal proceedings. It’s hard to believe the jury will determine that he is competent. He’s urgently in need of help, life saving help, to address severe schizophrenia (not an official diagnosis as yet). And then, I don’t know what.

In the meantime… as I said, lots of sharing, stories, debriefs. Being there with Maria was a balm, as difficult as the situation is. And Sarah. Appreciating their decency, humanity, smarts, grace, kindnesses.

Here’s a pic.. taken during one of the many breaks: