Life of Wry

Peter, who turned 15 1/2 on December 24, decided he’d spend the Winter break getting his learner’s permit.  He selected and took an online course (about 15-20 hours of material to cover and around $30).  He passed their test (94%) and, a few days later, got a certificate in the mail. He took that certificate and $33 to the DMV, took and passed their test (missed 5 questions, I think), passed the eye test, got his picture taken, thumb print recorded, and, 90 minutes later, left with a provisional drivers permit.

As soon as we got home, we looked at a bunch of local driving schools and picked the one that had the soonest 2-hour slot open. The instructor showed up at 3:00 the next afternoon. At 5:00, it was legal for Peter to drive our car on public roads in the State of California (with us in the car, of course) and out we went for a long drive along city and county roads. In the dark.

[The driving schools aren’t cheap, this one was $270. So we’re in for about $330, or so. And to clarify, Peter’s not paying for it, we are. Well worth the investment. We’re also hoping to enroll him in a performance driving school, offered, I believe, at no cost by various tire companies. Under carefully monitored and safe conditions, they expose teen drivers to road hazards and obstacle courses so kids can get a better sense of handling the car and the car’s limits. Cool!]

In the 10 days since, he has driven every single day. We’ve gone out for 1, 2 and even 3 hour road trips; he’s driven to baseball practices and the store. It is very awesome.  He is taking it very seriously. He listens very intently to whatever I say when dispensing driving advice.  He listens to my experiences with this driving challenge and that.  He asks good questions. Did I say he’s very serious?  He is very serious.

What I didn’t expect is that, not only is he showing incredible responsibility behind the wheel, he is suddenly stepping it up in other ways.  Last night, we were practice-driving and he wanted to stop at Trader Joe’s (for sticky orange chicken, of course). I said okay. He wanted to push the cart (he never pushes the cart). He asked if I wanted to wait in the car because I’m embarrassed about my face (that efudex treatment that’s making me look like I set my face on fire) while he finished the shopping (I didn’t, but appreciated the offer!) (I’d wondered when the empathy thing kicked in). Leaving, he offered to carry the bag (also a first). While driving home, he said something like, “Driving has been so much more comprehensive than I thought.” I said, “What do you mean?” (thinking to myself, comprehensive?) He went on to say that he is noticing things more, how things work, for example, he pointed out a turn lane and said he’d never noticed all the different ways one can turn off a road. And not just driving; he said he’s more in tune to all kinds of things, things he’d never noticed before.  Huh, I thought.

I am realizing that driving has sort of heightened his awareness for the world around him. And it’s made him feel more grown up. At home, he’s been voluntarily doing things that we ordinarily have to remind him to do. He’s stepping up, assuming more responsibility. Acting like a young adult. Being the one who ventures into his bathroom daily, I’m in a unique position to observe his grooming habits.. and I’m seeing the nail clippers out regularly and he suddenly seems to be current on his braces maintenance tasks. He’s hanging his towel up. He’s clearing the table without reminders. He’s eating new food. He’s been really polite lately (with us), conversational (with our friends), open to suggestion, and acknowledges when maybe he’s screwed something up.  He was totally okay with our Christmas morning plan.

As I write this, he’s in the kitchen making custard. Yes.

It’s been coming for a while, not just the last week, but the driving thing seems to have kicked it into a much, much higher gear.

Last night, I cautiously remarked that driving seems to have kicked him into a whole nuther zone of responsibility and maturity, and he smiled and just said, yeah.