Life of Wry

In a funny bubble right now.

This picture has bounty written all over it.. so I’m calling the question. Thinking about whether I’m in a time of bounty or not.

If you’re not up for my rambling, stream-of-conscious introspection, now would be a good time to close this tab and move on.  I’ll totally understand.

Here’s the thing: I don’t really have a lot to say or do these days.  Cases in point:

-Most blog entries for quite a long time have been a struggle. Not much burning a hole in the right side of my brain. I haven’t wanted to force words and thoughts where there are none, so have just been uploading a picture-of-the-day with very little commentary.

-Once a month, I get together with a handful of other women–my women’s group. We’re seven women of varying ages, stages of life, and experiences. We drink wine or tea, depending, and talk about our lives, our challenges, our joys. Wisdom flies. I get a super lot out of it..except I haven’t had a lot to say there, either. I’m listening a lot and enjoying it.. just coming up empty on something to say about me.  Nobody doesn’t have issues (aware of, and loving, my double negative, in case you’re wondering), and I’m sure stuff’s there… but… nothing comes.

-Jim and I go to weekly-couples-counseling-for-life… and lately I don’t have much to say there either.  I’ve been lobbying for a break, which, how often does that happen?  Not to go all sexist on myself here, but women loooove couples counseling, or this one always has anyway.  Endless material.  But, not lately.  No one’s buying my argument that we’re cured, but really, what is there left to talk about?

-I have run out of questions for my physical therapist, too.  (I’m embarrassed to add here that I also see a massage therapist, and I have had little to say to her lately, as well.) I’m out of problems for which I seek a solution.  I still have problems, but I know the solutions. I don’t think I have anything more to talk about. No more talk.

-I was even quiet during my haircut today–with my haircutter of 25-plus years. We always have plenty to gab about.  Love haircuts, love C, just… do I have to talk?

-I actually said these words to someone the other day: “I’m all cafe’d out.”  I’m not tired of coffee or poppyseed muffins or the company I keep.  I just feel sort of antsy.  Expect it to pass, of course, but what does it mean?

-My to-do list is short. The filing’s done. The drawers and closets and refrigerator.. they’re all pretty much purged, cleaned, organized.  Hell, my laundry’s even done. Nothing to plan or do or say about any of that.  I mean, there’s always more to do, more projects to work on, more to throw out, more to sort. But right now, it’s all pretty good.

So.

Is this a bounty or the opposite of a bounty?  Nothing to say, nothing to do.. Is that good? Is there some relationship going on here between my state of mind and my state of being?  Is there some obvious cause and effect? Are the proverbial decks now cleared, and does that mean I’m ready for the next thing?  Have I arrived at that elusive there? Or.. is this just a fleeting moment of calm?

Going into the season of lights here pretty soon. Hoping some is shed on me.