Life of Wry

Maria Sharapova wins this match against Sabine Lazicki to advance to Saturday’s finals.

The traditional Wimbledon strawberries and cream… minus the cream, with added bananas, and some low fat milk:

Note to self: Visit mom during majors tennis tournaments.

Kind of a difficult day.

Seems like every trip south includes some blowup with my mom. Damn.. I wish it weren’t the case, but it is.  There’s an inevitability about it.  There will be a difference of opinion, or a perceived affront, or some poor, pathetic wound that gets pathetically reopened… or all of the above, and, presto, I’m fifteen, aggrieved, and escalating.  My mom’s slightly less volatile, but she can also get going.  At 82, she’s got a lot of general curmudgeony-ness, some unresolved issues, fears and a bit of surface anger that play out.  Our drama, unbecoming, gets silly pretty quickly. Neither of us wants to be having a stupid fight, but the way out requires more grace than either of us can muster on the spot, so it gets awkward.

Then anguished contrition.  I can never believe I’ve allowed myself to get worked up again. I can’t stand that I’ve picked on my mom.  How mean can a person get?  So unnecessary.

Ugh.

If there’s any value in fighting, it’s that once it’s happened, things get much smoother (best, then, if it happens early).  After one of these, the tension is usually gone, bled off like an overfilled tire, and the rest of the visit goes really well.  Our fuses get much longer. We’re softer, more tolerant, more generous.

I will say we’ve become much better at getting to the other side of these.  In the last couple years, I’ve come down to Palos Verdes a LOT, and without fail, every visit, there’s something–an argument, a misunderstanding, hurt of some sort.  So we’ve got a lot of experience with this.  Over time, the battles have grown less brutal; the tension is predictable and inevitable, but the fights are over sooner, and have seemed, in the end, less punishing.  Less emotionally hangover-y. We seem to know how to weather them better.  Trust that, really, there’s love at the core.  That these may just be steps in a process.. or, more likely, some script that’s just been writ–ever thus, as my mom says.

Well today, an argument, not about either of us, but a family member (who shall remain nameless), and it was just a whole lot of tension and frustration that spiraled in dramatic fashion, leading to sweeping (and dire) conclusions and places where there are no solutions (an oft-visited place in our arguments).  After histrionic words and proclamations, more proclamations, and finally retreat to quiet corners to chill, we went out for coffee and then to the beach.

This had to be one of the most beautiful days on the beach ever..  soft air, light breeze, warm and incredibly clear.  Sat and read.  Didn’t talk too much.  Pretty soon, we had the space to smile and everything felt ok.   Tomorrow, we may apologize for things said, but that may not even be necessary.  We’ll see.

At home..in my old room, now the guest room.

Woke up.  Looked out the window over the bed.   Those are eucs.. can you smell them through the open window?

Then looked left.  Those are mostly pepper trees on the bank. These were my two main views forever, growing up.

Then listened.  Got: a mourning dove most prominently, with lots of quiet around it.  Definitely the sound I remember most.  In the way distance, I could hear a dog barking, a chainsaw (maybe trimming a eucalyptus), a lawnmower, and a construction hammer.  It was sort of like going on an auditory scavenger hunt.

That about sums up this warm and breezy day.  Other things, too, but they didn’t begin with B.  (Wimbledon, gin rummy, M&Ms, Starbucks).  Also discovered spicy chile dried mangos.  Happy.

Frame Family reunions…

They’re held every two years, with locations moving around the country.  This year, 30 of us gathered in Arcadia, a smaller than usual crowd.

Typically, we gather in the evenings for dinner, but split up for daytime activities based on interests.   Today, some went to the Norton Simon museum, some went to the Huntington Library and gardens…

…and some, seven of us, went hiking, including Jim’s 86-year-old dad.  Here are some shots on the Sturtevant Falls hike in the Angeles National Forest, Santa Anita Canyon, Chantry Recreation Area… Peter powering up the hill:

A lizard on the rock I was sitting on.. Monica was so kind to point him out.

Same lizard, taking in view of falls.

A rattle snake slipping behind a rock. Huge.

Cousins Ben and Peter, contemplating the falls. These boys have done a lot of hiking together over the years.

Sturtevant Falls.

Ben goes in.

Jim senior never ceases to amaze. Four miles with significant hill climbing on a warm day.  Not bad at all.

Peter turned 13 today! We ended the day with cake and singing and lots of family around (handy to have a Frame family reunion on one’s birthday).

The day started on the beach with a pair of rented segways.  Here’s Peter riding along the bike path.  Turns out, 10:00 on a weekday morning is a very good time to be working it out on a segway–relatively few people.  It looks benign, but you’re actually going about 10-14 miles per hour (if nobody’s around), which gets tricky around sandy corners.

We rode from Santa Monica to the Venice pier

Here’s the view looking down.  The sound you hear is me laughing (almost the whole time). Really, that fun.

It’s easy and intuitive, but also not error proof.  Peter fell once (in spectacular fashion), but being 13 and resilient, he rebounded relatively quickly.  I fell once, too.  My fall was less spectacular–sort of bumped into Peter while we were more or less standing still.  I went over and the segway went over me (well, my foot).  It felt like I was trying to handle an errant power tool.  They’re heavy and not that maneuverable when you’re not doing it right.  Not too elegant.  Here’s my souvenir road rash.

I think the soreness has just begun.  It was very, very, VERY fun, though and I loved sharing the adventure with Peter.

Peter saw Capital Records from the 101, and decided he had to see it.  We parked near Hollywood and Vine and walked up the street.

We started to walk into Capital Records and were stopped by a doorman sort of guy who said the general public was not allowed in.  But he answered a lot of my questions, which I thought was fun and very helpful.  Peter was embarrassed, which we talked about later.

While standing at the front door, Nick Mason walked up (and in) … he’s best known as the drummer for Pink Floyd.  No, I would not have known that.  Score another point for the doorman.

This was one of the cool stars we saw on the sidewalk out front.

But, this was way cooler. We came upon this down on Hollywood Boulevard, close to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.  Nice!

Here’s not-yet-famous Peter Frame standing strategically close to it.  He’s got the  I’m a big 13 year old look down, don’t you think?

A few things to notice:

– The Detroit Tigers, on their first at bat, got a homerun.  Not a great way for the Dodgers to start the game… they never caught up.

– It’s a really sunny, pretty day, this 2nd official day of summer!  So digging it.

– We have great seats.  We’re at field level, first row behind those box seats.  It was a light crowd, so a) we had a clear view for the most part, right to the grass, and b) we could put our feet up.

– I just happen to have a pair of Dodger Blue converse sneakers, which I also just happened to bring along on this road trip to LA.  How ’bout that?  It did not go un-noticed.

First leg of birthday road trip.  It’s 1:45am.  Just off the freeway in downtown LA.  Exited 101 at Temple.  Too late to write.

Photo credit: Peter, riding shotgun.

‘night.